ch ch ch changes…

Good morning yogis!!! 

Change is afoot. Change is inevitable. Change is the one thing we can count on for sure….or can we? Yeah, totally we can.

Change comes. Sometimes we go to it, sometimes we run from it, sometimes we embrace it and sometimes we fear it. But change always comes.

Do you know the experience of your full life filling up your full days and not leaving time for much else? Do you also know the experience of getting INSPIRED, and SOMEHOW you seem to CREATE space in your life to ADD something that is IMPORTANT and you WANT to do…? Notice how you WORK REALLY HARD to put in all your time and effort, and you are run off your feet doing all the things you HAVE to do on a regular day to day basis, PLUS WHATEVER IT TAKES to accomplish the CHANGE your are NOW CREATING. Notice how inspired you are and how you don’t care about sleep, and how much you actually look forward to your lunch break spent working on the project, whatever it is…buying a new car, remodeling your house, getting your kids into college, building a business, preparing for a dinner party…you get the drift. We have all sorts of things in our lives that are obligatory, the things we HAVE to do like clean the toilet and get gas in the car…these things are not often inspiring or derivative of our passions, but we do them and make them happen and accept that they are part of daily living.

Change happens in our lives whether we are looking for it or not. Transition. Evolution. Doesn’t matter what you call it, there is no way you can keep everything the same in your life because that is not the nature of the world. 

I read an article the other day talking about mental attitude and how our thoughts dictate our emotions, physical sensations, etc. When you work out and your muscles are sore the next day, you feel excited that you did something, right? You take a “killer” yoga class and the next afternoon you are having trouble sitting down to pee or walking up and down stairs…but you love it!! Ha! You love it because you worked hard at it, you pushed yourself to create change and now you feel the results of your hard work. Reap the rewards. Now, imagine yourself waking up in the morning and rolling over and suddenly feeling a twang of muscle soreness in your back because you slipped and had to torque yourself suddenly so as not to crack your head on the ground…you slipped, not a big deal, you are fine…but the next day you feel it. You have to slowly sit up, slowly stand up, and it hurts to sit down and stand up too much. 

The emotional difference is that one is something that you created and one is something that was just handed to you. Same kind of physical sensations, right? Same kind of result in the physical body, but the emotional and mental difference is what makes all the difference…the sensations and results of doing full camel for the first time and slipping on the ice are almost identical, but one has you get out of bed, chuckle, bend, stretch, chuckle some more, grab your foam roller and tennis ball and get excited to go out and use your body!! The other, makes you not want to move, not want to get out of bed, feel sorry that it happened and reach for the Advil.

All change is the same, I think. Have you ever moved? Like a big move….how about a break-up? A big one. A new job? If you are the INSTIGATOR of change in your life, you move into it with excitement and forward energy, generally. If you are being “forced” to do something, like you got “dumped” or “fired” (such horrible meaning attached to these words!), then the resulting emotions, and physical sensations are laced with doubt, worry, anxiety, fear and overall blech energy…which is only forward moving because you can’t stay where you are anymore, they don’t want you!! Lol, we are such funny humans. If a relationship ends, it wasn’t the right fit anymore. If you lose your job, it’s not the right fit. If you choose that you want to lower your cost of living so as to have more money to raise your family, you choose to move to a different city where you can pay less rent and walk to work…it’s tough and difficult to make a move, to leave your home, to leave your friends and family and familiarity…but what is on the other side is so awesome too!! Thing is, with change, we never really know what is on the other side, so there isn’t that reward of knowing how the change is going to impact you…sometimes only an unknown, to which we can attach any kind of feeling or emotion. 

One of my mentors in my early adulthood used to say, “the only relationship you’ll ever have that ‘worked’ is the one that you’re in when you die”.

Be aware when you let your emotions dictate how you should feel…physically, mentally and spiritually…especially spiritually.

I love you, yogis!! I have been having a love affair with podcasts of a woman named Brene Brown…she has been studying shame (and other things), and is very inspiring!! More to come…

Have a great Saturday xox

 

 

 

 

Be.The.Sun.

Good morning, yogis. Sigh, last evening I had to put on my hoodie. This morning when I got out of bed I had to put on sweat pants…the first time I’ve worn pants of any kind in a month it’s been THAT hot. So it’s a sign that the earth is still moving and we are still moving through time…but seriously, can’t summer last forever this year…? 

That’s not really what I’m posting about today. Today’s post is about this: Be.The.Sun. 

It was probably over a year ago now, maybe even close to two years, that an old friend of mine said to me, “be the Sun”. I was in some kind of turmoil about something in regards to someone else in my life (reason is insignificant, it was simply the catalyst), and she told me to be the Sun..the Sun remains the same…the Sun remains the same, no matter what. The Sun shines even when the clouds cover it up, the Sun comes up every single day even when bad things have happened around it, the Sun is bright and powerful and healing and uplifting in every single moment because it just keeps on shining…no matter what goes on around it. 

Be.The.Sun.

This year on my birthday, my mom gave me some tarot cards. I think it’s the third set of cards I’ve had through my life. I’ve always loved playing with and studying my Tarot cards, it’s really something that you can spend years “learning” how to read and use, because readings will always change and your understanding of them will always change. So I have these Motherpeace Tarot cards, and I like to do readings for myself (haha, and for others too, believe it or not!!) as a way of hashing through things, calling spirit guides, tuning into my Higher Self, etc. (sometimes you have to use everything you can to get answers!!). The other night I was struggling with a drama I had going on in my head so I pulled out the cards…well, long story short, this is the card I pulled for the card that represented “me” in the reading:

…haha. So, pretty well whenever anything has started to get to me the past few days, I just take a deep breath and remind myself, Be.The.Sun.

Have a happy Friday, my loves. Remember you get to be whatever you choose, all you have to do is see it in your mind’s eye.

Sending you lots of love…and, of course, lots of hot bright sun-shiny rays.

-Ida xx

(oh, and if you are reading this and you think the “friend” might be you, you are right, you know who you are, so thanks for that, LL 😉 )

 

How much of what you feel do you think it yours…?

Hello and good evening my loves!! Wow, I think it’s been a while since I have written here…I had some thoughts about doing a “30 challenge” with my writing, but that hasn’t started yet. Writing has always been something that I find very therapeutic, I love to do it, always have. I decided many years ago that one day I am gong to write a book…I tried my hand at screen writing (nope), I have written several monologues, parts of one woman plays, snippets of things here and there….and, of course, this blog 😉

Needless to say, you will know when I start my writing challenge…I will be in your inbox every day!

I just finished teaching Karma class. This is a pretty small studio, so 20 people in my class is a pretty good size. We COULD fit 45 or so in there (I’ve not seen that many)…but 30, to me, is a good full capacity…alas, I digress. Before I taught, I knew I needed to ground myself and center myself for class. I had been running around, doing all sorts of things, and knew I needed to focus myself on teaching….put my teacher hat on, as it were.  I set my alarm, and began my meditation. It was the longest time I have given myself for meditation in a while. Mostly I have been stealing 15 minutes here and there, and taking long savasanas. Today, however, I had almost an hour and it was perfect. On a side note, I never pressure myself into a length of time for meditation…what I have learned is some days I need 45 minutes and somedays 10 is enough. I usually set the alarm for the most time I have, that way I am not worrying about having to be somewhere or anything like that. So…today I had almost an hour and took it! 

I will now get to the gist…something occurred for me that caught my attention. During my meditation, it was like I was standing by an open door and a huge gust of wind came rushing by me and as it passed, it pulled all these people out of me…and I heard the words “all the lost souls”…and the gust of wind took all the lost souls and blew them away…away from me. 

I have been feeling some weird pains in my body the past few days (a couple of them for a couple weeks now) and I have a feeling that many of the aches and pains belonged to these lost souls. I am an  emotionally porous person. I suck up emotions and feelings of people around me…sometimes even when it’s not people I am close to. Teaching yoga and being with all the feeling and emotions of the people in the class, I often have to make sure to brush off whatever I have picked up from others. The way I usually know it’s not mine is if I say “oh, this is WEIRD, I feel pain or emotion, etc”…it’s the WEIRD part that is important. We all have things we feel regularly, or even things we feel irregularly…but when things sneak up or are WEIRD then maybe it isn’t actually ours to claim. 

I know, it sounds weird in itself…but next time you feel something (physical pain, mental anguish, anger, sadness, etc) and it feels weird to have said feeling, ask yourself “is this mine”?…if it is, fine, if not…take a breath, tell yourself “not mine” and allow it to pass. 

Try it. I know, you might not be with me on this one…but you might be surprised when you start to figure out how much stuff you take on from other people!! They are sneaky, the strong ones can handle it, so the not as strong ones let their stuff float every which way and see where it lands…sneaky sneaky.

For me, this is an ongoing every day process and lesson. Sometimes I am able to brush things off immediately, sometimes I hang on to them like they are mine, sometimes I have a harder time letting go…it’s all a work in progress.

OK, kidletts…I am going to get some stuff done and then hit the hay. I am working up to telling you about another thing I have on the go right now…but that will have to wait for the best time…

Big juicy heart shaped kisses and super ruby red hugs,

-Ida x

New Year got you down…?

Hello everyone!!! 

I’m so energized today. Why, you ask? Don’t know exactly…could just be the super high test Yerba Maté I’m drinking this morning, laced with delicious high grade organic maple syrup…that always seems to give me a swing in my step and a palpitation in my heart!

Yesterday I taught a class in the morning. It was filled with (but not only with) people coming back to their practice after having a bit of a break…a holiday break, a been too busy break, an I needed a break break, an I have been gone so long now I can’t fathom going back break…you get the idea. So, I did the best I could at my job to give them the space they needed and the encouragement and sweet but tough love they desired in coming back into the room.  It got me to thinking…all the New Year’s resolutions that float around the air at this time of year. All the feelings of being not good enough are hanging heavy over people’s heads right now. All the food and drinks and celebrations now seem to be overkill, the joy has been removed from the occasions and now all that is left is the extra few pounds, the pants that don’t quite fit, and the feeling of the New Year’s resolutions that were made in an energized, perhaps slightly inebriated state of mind fog that now have to be maintained. 

MAINTENANCE. Ugh. It could be such a big oppressive word, don’t you think?! Making the goal and starting the new activity (eating/exercising/positivity/whatever else you have made for a NYResolution) is easy…you have the motivation for it, you told yourself you would and now you are…but then it turns to the reality of LIFE. It’s one thing to start something new when you are on vacation or with the kids out of school. But, yesterday the kids went back to school and everyone went back to work and suddenly it was like the realisation that it’s not that you changed something for a while or for fun or to try it out…you made a RESOLUTION and now you must stick to it or fail (again?) at your resolution….the MAINTENANCE of it is here again. 

So, yesterday, as I saw all these people come back to the mat with a slight bit of fear and trepidation, they also brought with them a feeling of knowing…knowing they would feel great in a few short classes, a feeling of triumph of getting back in the room and knowing they just needed to get through 90 minutes and they would have bliss at the end of the road. The thing about making resolutions (or any kind of change at any time of the year) is that once you get through the first month, it then becomes part of your life, not just something you do. They say it takes 30 days to create a new habit. It’s one day at a time, one choice at a time, but after 30 days, you are over the hump and hopefully you have created this new habit for yourself. (I’m not saying you have to do a “30 day challenge”, but just maintain your goals for a month however you need to to be able to do them, and with some luck you will feel in the groove to keep going!).

So, all that being said…my goal for my yoga practice for this year is to enjoy the feelings I get IN the yoga room. A couple years ago I decided I would not ever go into a yoga class with the feeling of “ugh, I so don’t want to go to class”…why would I? I didn’t want to bring in any negative thoughts or feelings into my yoga practice with me, so I have created a wonderful relationship to my practice that has taken me…oh, 12.5 years to cultivate!! So, I decided this year I want to focus on the wonderful feelings I feel INSIDE the yoga room, not just the hard work in the yoga room to reap the feelings OUTSIDE the yoga room. As a teacher I look at my students in the postures and feel elated for them! I look a the bodies in the postures and think how much is going on in the body…the blood flow and the oxygen saturation and the heart pounding and the lungs expanding and the skin stretching and everything getting a tune up!! (makes me excited to get into the yoga room just typing it!!…I’m such a yoga geek). So, now my goal is to bring more mindfulness and presence to my own practice this year. LIsten, I have been doing this yoga for over 12 years, if you think this series cannot be practiced for fear of boredom…think again! I have learned more from this one series than from anything else in my life. But it is my job for myself to figure out all the things it has to offer me. My job right now is to bring this mindfulness and presence to my own practice so that I can help my students find it as well. 

Whatever it is that you gave to yourself for this year, whatever goals or thoughts you gifted to yourself for 2013, they are here for you. They are here for you when you want them and for when you don’t. Be generous with yourself but give yourself some sweet tough love. Set yourself up for success and be generous every day with yourself. Some days are going to look how  you want them and some won’t. Some days you get what you want and some days you get what you need. And…if you’re really lucky, some days what you want and what you need are the same thing.

Happy life, my puppies. Whether your goals and resolutions involve something physical or spiritual, something tangible or not…happy life…that’s all there is to it.

Love and sweet unicorn kisses,

Ida xx

Ruminations on the past and the future…

Hello everyone! It is the end of the year. Again. Can you believe it? I know for me that this has been a big year…but I think I say that every year!! I often look back as well as forward in January because it is my birthday. I usually feel more connected to a new year with the change of my age than the change of the calendar. However, as they occur so closely (my birthday and the New Year), that they are intrinsically linked!!

Each year I feel that I am building my SELF. I like to look back at what I accomplished in the year and then think about the things that I am ready to take on…or how I would like my life to look in the coming year. The past little while I have been feeling some fear about moving forward. Yup, fear. I have been on the go for so many years now that the thought of staying put for a while is a bit…well…full of anxiety!

As many of you who know me know, I love being on the go but am a total home body. Talk about dichotomy, huh? I love travel and I love seeing the world and meeting amazing people and experiencing different cultures and customs and learning about how people live in different countries. This planet is so big and amazing, I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to see it! On the other hand, though, I love to be home. I love cooking and being in my space. I love having all my stuff in one place and knowing where everything is. I love not living out of a suitcase, being independent, doing things on my own time and creating my own schedule. I have such love for both parts of my life that it is difficult to see myself doing either on a permanent basis.

So, here is the deal…I just haven’t found the place I want to be yet. I have lived in many cities in many countries. I have visited and sight seen (is that a thing, “sight seen”?) all sorts of amazing places and things and I have met amazing people and communities all around the world. So, here is the question: am I looking too specifically or am I looking in the wrong way or have I just not found THE place yet. (I have to tell you that I have watched that show on TLC “Say Yes to the Dress” and have seen countless number of women try on wedding dress after wedding dress waiting to have “that feeling” and I wonder if I am waiting to have “that feeling” for a place in order for me to want to live there…and FYI, some of those women get the feeling and some don’t, but eventually everyone makes a choice one way or another.)

A while ago I was visiting with a woman I went to yoga teacher training with almost 10 years ago. We didn’t know eachother in TT, never spoke, but had the opportunity to spend a bit of time together recently. We were talking about relationships, romantic ones specifically. I was single at the time and she was asking me what my ideal man was like. I started listing off a bunch of things I thought were what I want…and she said to me that what if, rather than being set on the qualities of him or personality of him, what if I focussed on how I want to feel in the relationship. HUH. I see. How I want to FEEL in the relationship. Yeah, good one. So, since then I have been living my life, making choices based on how I want to feel rather than the physical qualities of something (a romantic partner, a place to live, a job, whatever). But, I will be honest, I have let it slip a bit as of late and haven’t been as focussed on how I want to feel in my life but getting caught up in some kind of idea I have about what I should and shouldn’t be doing. Egads, the dreaded “SHOULD”!!!

So, in looking back at the year behind and forward to the year ahead, I am remembering the purpose of why we are here. I am remembering my own purpose and re-committing myself to awareness and connecting to it.

Here is my New Year 2013 wish for you, my sweet puppies. Find love around you…not just romantic love, but friends and family too. Give love and receive love. Breath through fear and remember that we have the ultimate choice about everything in our lives. We are all a reflection of eachother and we are One in this existence. Love. Give it and receive it. It’s that simple.

I love you, everyone. May you have a blessed 2013, it is a year of change. Take time over the next 24-ish hours and remember what you are greatful for and release anything that is not serving you in your life. This is the year for creating the life you wish to lead…imagine it, make it BIG…and then go out there and create it!!

Happy New Year, be safe out there.
Love and unicorn kisses,
Ida xx

ps-if you think you live in an amazing city, let me know…and tell me why it’s so awesome!! thx xx