Hello everyone! It is the end of the year. Again. Can you believe it? I know for me that this has been a big year…but I think I say that every year!! I often look back as well as forward in January because it is my birthday. I usually feel more connected to a new year with the change of my age than the change of the calendar. However, as they occur so closely (my birthday and the New Year), that they are intrinsically linked!!
Each year I feel that I am building my SELF. I like to look back at what I accomplished in the year and then think about the things that I am ready to take on…or how I would like my life to look in the coming year. The past little while I have been feeling some fear about moving forward. Yup, fear. I have been on the go for so many years now that the thought of staying put for a while is a bit…well…full of anxiety!
As many of you who know me know, I love being on the go but am a total home body. Talk about dichotomy, huh? I love travel and I love seeing the world and meeting amazing people and experiencing different cultures and customs and learning about how people live in different countries. This planet is so big and amazing, I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to see it! On the other hand, though, I love to be home. I love cooking and being in my space. I love having all my stuff in one place and knowing where everything is. I love not living out of a suitcase, being independent, doing things on my own time and creating my own schedule. I have such love for both parts of my life that it is difficult to see myself doing either on a permanent basis.
So, here is the deal…I just haven’t found the place I want to be yet. I have lived in many cities in many countries. I have visited and sight seen (is that a thing, “sight seen”?) all sorts of amazing places and things and I have met amazing people and communities all around the world. So, here is the question: am I looking too specifically or am I looking in the wrong way or have I just not found THE place yet. (I have to tell you that I have watched that show on TLC “Say Yes to the Dress” and have seen countless number of women try on wedding dress after wedding dress waiting to have “that feeling” and I wonder if I am waiting to have “that feeling” for a place in order for me to want to live there…and FYI, some of those women get the feeling and some don’t, but eventually everyone makes a choice one way or another.)
A while ago I was visiting with a woman I went to yoga teacher training with almost 10 years ago. We didn’t know eachother in TT, never spoke, but had the opportunity to spend a bit of time together recently. We were talking about relationships, romantic ones specifically. I was single at the time and she was asking me what my ideal man was like. I started listing off a bunch of things I thought were what I want…and she said to me that what if, rather than being set on the qualities of him or personality of him, what if I focussed on how I want to feel in the relationship. HUH. I see. How I want to FEEL in the relationship. Yeah, good one. So, since then I have been living my life, making choices based on how I want to feel rather than the physical qualities of something (a romantic partner, a place to live, a job, whatever). But, I will be honest, I have let it slip a bit as of late and haven’t been as focussed on how I want to feel in my life but getting caught up in some kind of idea I have about what I should and shouldn’t be doing. Egads, the dreaded “SHOULD”!!!
So, in looking back at the year behind and forward to the year ahead, I am remembering the purpose of why we are here. I am remembering my own purpose and re-committing myself to awareness and connecting to it.
Here is my New Year 2013 wish for you, my sweet puppies. Find love around you…not just romantic love, but friends and family too. Give love and receive love. Breath through fear and remember that we have the ultimate choice about everything in our lives. We are all a reflection of eachother and we are One in this existence. Love. Give it and receive it. It’s that simple.
I love you, everyone. May you have a blessed 2013, it is a year of change. Take time over the next 24-ish hours and remember what you are greatful for and release anything that is not serving you in your life. This is the year for creating the life you wish to lead…imagine it, make it BIG…and then go out there and create it!!
Happy New Year, be safe out there.
Love and unicorn kisses,
ps-if you think you live in an amazing city, let me know…and tell me why it’s so awesome!! thx xx